A few years ago, workers at American Embassies abroad started to complain about a strange array of symptoms ranging from ringing ears and migraines to vertigo and cognitive dysfunction. Rather than attribute this to the gallons of alcohol they were likely drinking on the job, they determined that these problems were coming from a spicy new ailment: Havana Syndrome.

According to those who reportedly experienced the symptoms, they came about after potentially being exposed to some sort of high-powered energy weapon being run by, depending on who was claiming it, the Cubans, the Russians, the Chinese, or, fuck it, the Iranians. Man, why does everyone have a cool energy weapon except us?

Of course, this whole thing was fake. There’s just no evidence that it exists, and the idea of another country harboring some sort of weapon that just gives people headaches is absurd on its face. Then again, maybe all of this talk about Havana Syndrome was just preparing us for when the U.S. launches its own energy weapon. In fact, maybe they already have — but it only affects fish.

@nbcnews The U.S. government is mounting an emergency response in an effort to save #fish off the coast of #Florida ♬ original sound - nbcnews

According to this report from NBC News, 40 species of fish in Florida are engaging in strange behaviors, such as “spinning and whirling.” Some also say that they’ve seen an increase in dead fish, though this part of the claim appears less substantiated.

No one knows why this is happening, but people are certainly concerned. As some of the affected fish are endangered, the U.S. government has decided to mount an emergency response.

“It’s a mystery,” said Adam Brame, who is the sawfish recovery coordinator for the National Marine Fisheries Service, which is part of NOAA. Yes, that’s a real job. “Our partners are working around the clock to try to reach a decision on what has caused this fish health event.”

What’s the next step here? Who knows, but I hope the fish stop spinning and go back to just swimming.